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This is what coffee was invented for....

5/3/2012

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A very quick post to point out that, if you haven't noticed, the site's had a bit of an overhaul and we now have some new regular blogs - Rice Serbic will be commenting on politics and current affairs, Tug Wilson will mainly be regaling you tales of rancid films, Charlie Cody will be discussing all things artistic and Paul Knight will be enthralling you with celebrity bullshit. In between having nervous breakdowns whilst pulling the new site together, we've managed to scrape together a new issue of the magazine - yes, Now or Never! issue 21 is hot of the presses and it's a corker. And we've finally entered the modern world and made it possible for you to buy digital copies of the latest issue. Not only that but we're updating our audio files collection for those of you who want to listen to our bullshit. We have new books for sale in our shop,  plenty of new articles for you to enjoy and we've put some of our more popular regular columns online including History in a Nutshell, Old Whinger's Corner, the first few installments of Harry K's brilliant Bible Reviews and Rick's Rants .

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Leave the Boy Alone....

3/13/2012

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Now or Never! #21 is well on the way,  but if you can't wait till May and  fancy a sneak peek why not check out Leave the Boy Alone, our interview with Rhys Dawney about LONG clothing and their infamous club nights, Rihanna and relaunching iconic clothing label BOY London. First Chris Brown and now this - we're like the new Heat magazine, but with less piss drinking.

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Punching Chris Brown and romantic enema action

2/24/2012

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Who needs chocolates and roses?
Oh joy - it's that time again, the next issue of Now or Never! is well under way ready for it's traditional May Day unveiling. In the meantime we've got a few new bits and bobs for sale, check out our postcards and keep an eye on the shop as we'll be adding new stuff over the coming weeks. We've also got some new articles online, including Paul Knight's thoughts on Valentines Day.  Hopefully they'll be some exciting (depending on how you define "exciting") new developments in the near future, including, amongst other things, us finally pulling our fingers out and making available audio files of articles for the blind/partially sighted and we'll be gingerly dipping our toes into the murky waters of  e-publishing. Which frankly has us all in a state of utter confusion, so anyone wise in the ways of them there e-books, do get in touch.
 
In  more interesting news,  Kevin Seccia has offered $1000 to anyone who beats up Chris Brown . We're not one to usually dabble in celebrity business, but would like to offer a life-time subscription to Now or Never! for whoever can make this happen. Not exactly $1000 but hey, if you've twatted Chris Brown, surely  anything else is a bonus.

We've also being having much fun checking out the Google Analytics  Google Anayltics log of terms people use to find this site. There's a shocking amount of traffic through piss drinking, which must be seriously disappointing for the deviant little bleeders when they click, kleenex in hot little hands, on the results. But we must have proved even more of a letdown to whoever asked "why are enemas popular on valentines day?" on the 15th of Febuary. Guess we know what their partner got them....

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Read our latest crap online - for free!

11/4/2011

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Following the positive feedback we've been recieving about Paul Knight's article on this Summer's London riots, we've prematurely published Thatcher's Grandchildren in our online articles  - if you'd like to read it , and other equally fabulous musings,  in their original paper form, then pick up a copy of Issue 20 from our shop
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Issue 20 - just buy it and we'll go away

10/10/2011

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Now or Never! issue 20
Well it's here. It's finally fucking here, the issue that was the straw that nearly broke the camel's fucking back - yup, issue 20 of Now or Never! eagerly awaits your hot little hands, so off you trot and buy the fucking thing.

And on that chirpy cheerful note, here at Now or Never! we're struggling somewhat, time is tight, money's even tighter - too tight to mention, in fact, the future ain't all that bright so we ain't wearing shades, etc etc. We've therefore been throwing around the notion that we may have to become annual publication, perhaps change format to a yearly book, or rob a bank - we're not sure which yet. Your thoughts, views, ideas and money are welcome as always, contact us if you have any input, donate if you want to put forward the kind of input we'd actually appreciate. Those of you with a subscription fret not, you'll actually come out of any changes better off, you swines.

Issue 20 owes a great debt of thanks to all it's contributors, in particular the fantastic artists, some of whom really pulled out all the stops at the last minute. So we raise a glass of piss to  Zack Gardner for the brilliant front cover art ,  Nina Sosenko for the wonderful alternative back cover, Deb Shuttleworth for the always fabulous Dead in the Scene and China White for the excellent comic strip and all his previous work - contact him at [email protected].  Belated thanks are long over due to superstar photographer Anne for her work on the cover of issue 19. Absent though he is from this issue, we are also eternally grateful for the wonderous works of Charlie Cody, and equally indebted to Sheffield artist Mike Haworth, wherever he may be, for bringing the Now or Never! girl to life. 

 In other news,  regular contributor Paul Knight has a few thoughts on October's Black History Month ...the rest of us just have thoughts on how fucking dire the UK Black History Month website is.

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Altogether now! "It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere..."

10/5/2011

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Norman bleeding Lovett
Wait, what's that? I'll tell you what that is, that's only Norman bleeding Lovett cuddling regular contributor Paul Knight * whilst holding one of the few remaining copies of issue 19 of Now or Never!.  Yes, Norman freaking Lovett, of Holly from Red Dwarf, voiceover on 1980's Sugar Puffs adverts and holding Now or Never! fame.  Make sure you get your copy quick sticks, before Chris Barrie and Craig Charles buy up all our remaining stock.

Seriously though, go to the shop and buy a copy, or we won't have anywhere to put issue 20 next week.



* He was cropped out of the photo at his own request - we hasten to add that we find Paul, and indeed all** of our contributors both glorious and beautiful to gaze upon. 

** Some



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Minature tornadoes, shameless back scratching and a tokenistic amount of politics

8/12/2011

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So Now or Never! are all set up at Harlequin Fayre and got off to a flying start, literally, when our marquee blew away in the depths of night whilst editor, Tug Wilson,  was drunkenly sprawled in it watching some dubious B-movie on his PSP (which was bought and paid for properly thank you very much, not looted or anything). Cue much confused wandering about and glassy eyed mumblings (I imagine the combination of week-long riot footage and such a blustery nocturnal experiance led very much to a feeling that indeed, we aren't in Kansas anymore) until Harry K lured him into his tent for the night, probably by waving a can of Special Brew and a copy of Ilsa She Wolf of the SS in front of his confused little face. But all has been put right in time for the festivities to begin, and  we present you with the wonder that is our rancid stall and fantastic travelling library,  which is playing host to bedtime stories for children (so far popular sugestions have been Dr Seuss based, Yertle the Turtle and The Lorax are looking likely but do let us know if you have any suggestions) and midnight stories for grown-ups (thankfully more Roald Dahl than Ilsa She Wolf of the SS as Harry K is in charge). Behold.
Now or Never! stall and library
Those of us left behind from the fun and frivolity stumbled about bored and looking for entertainment and came across Tales From The Cutting Room by Paul Knight . Having read it long into the early hours and thoroughly enjoyed it, I was reminded how lucky we are to have such a talented chap writing for our not so fine publication, and we do recommend you check his work out.

It seems amiss not to mention the fact that today the horrific backlash of the riots is getting in full swing, with calls for benefit sanctions, social housing evictions and the like for those convicted of taking part. There's not much more that can be said that hasn't already said, and in a far more eloquent fashion - and debating the illogical nature of the nations reaction to the weeks events is starting to feel like banging ones head against a really fucking big brick wall. That aside, we do recommend you check out this this man's thoughts , Give Our Kids a Future! A North London Unity Demonstration and, somewhat suprisingly, Russell Brand .

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    Now or Never! magazine - a punker version of Class War with worse politics

    Now or Never! girl with paper

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