Tug Wilson sifts through the dredges of cinema history to compile the Now or Never! top ten of unwholesome films. Nazis, cannibals, torture, institutionalised animals and more await those that dare read on...
10. Rambo (2008)
Sylvester Stallone has managed to make the most violent, most exploitative and most unintentionally funny films in years. It is hard to believe that a film like this can be made in this day and age in all seriousness, without a touch of irony (I looked hard but found none). The film starts off with some mondo style footage of butchered bodies in mass graves, which is lovely, and for a film that is clearly making weighty political points this is perfectly acceptable. Judging by the numerous occasions where John Rambo is looking pensive, contemplating the issues of the day, the film IS obviously trying to make some kind of point, I’m just not sure what it is. It does seem to be saying that liberals providing aid is naïve and that guns would be much better, beyond that I’m clueless. I think it also might be illustrating how rubbish women are, as during the epic massacre at the end, the camera keeps panning to the moomin faced liberal woman - oh how her dreams have been shattered! Casting Danny Dyer’s dad as one of the mercenaries was genius.
Film Rating: **** Offensive Rating: **
Further Viewing: Macho thrills need not end here, check out Delta Force, Missing in Action and Jungle Heat.
9. Bully (2001)
Larry Clark’s films are controversial for their frank portrait of American teenagers partaking in casual sex and drug use. Clark’s debut Kids was controversial but easily defended on artistic grounds. What makes Bully so uncomfortable to watch is its gratuitous use of the subject matter. The teenagers spend a good proportion of the film disrobed, mostly unconnected to the film’s narrative. It is shot in a voyeuristic lecherous fashion, one scene with a girl getting a pedicure shows a close up of her crotch giving us an eyeful of her pubic hair. Given the fact that Larry Clark is in his 60s and the vast majority of his professional output as a photographer and film maker show a predilection for teenagers, only adds to the unease. Larry Clark, dirty old nonce or misunderstood documenter of teenage life - you decide?
Film Rating: *** Offensive Rating: **
Further Viewing: Other films with teens gone wild are Thirteen, Mean Creek and Spun.
8. I Spit On Your Grave (1978)
This film by Meir Zarchi is both reviled and revered. Some claim it is a feminist film about revenge, however they are seriously clutching at straws, because despite what some say, this is nothing more than a particularly unpleasant exploitation picture. Following an unbelievably long rape sequence, violated Jennifer (Camille Keaton - Buster Keaton’s grand-niece) seeks revenge on her attackers. Incredibly she does this by tracking each of them down and seducing them before killing them off. So basically, most of the first half of the film shows us her horrific rape and the second half shows titillating sex scenes which are supposedly justified by her revenge. Zarchi went onto make Don‘t Mess With My Sister, which by all accounts is really, really shit.
Film Rating: *** Offensive Rating: ****
Further Viewing: Baise Moi juxtaposed a brutal rape scene alongside hardcore sex scenes in a similarly inappropriate fashion.
7. Me, Myself & Irene (2000)
When this film came out there was an avalanche of outrage from mental health groups, and rightly so. The film’s makers, the Farrally Brothers, perpetuate the common misconception that schizophrenia is a condition involving multiple personalities. This could perhaps be written off as ignorance but portraying mentally ill people as inherently violent and obscene is inexcusable. Many of the promotional gimmicks used by 20th Century Fox just added insult to injury with taglines such as “from gentle to mental” and T-shirt tie-ins (“I’m schizophrenic: so am I”). Strangely, despite the Farrelly Brothers’ reputation for shocking gross out humour, Me, Myself & Irene is something of an anomaly, as many of their other films depict disabled people in a sensitive non-patronising manner.
Film Rating: ** Offensive Rating: **
Further Viewing: Other films that reinforce a negative stereotype of mental health are White Noise and Spider-Man.
6. Eden Lake (2008)
Pretty effective horror film that could have done without the social commentary. Both middle class and working class people are so cartoonishly portrayed that pretty much everyone is going to be offended by this. The middle class couple that holiday in Eden Lake are nauseatingly ‘nice’, naive and cowardly. The working class kids are portrayed as dangerous thugs. In fact pretty much every working class person in the film is thick, coarse, violent and devoid of a moral compass.
Film Rating: **** Offensive Rating: **
Further Viewing: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Wrong Turn cement the notion that you just can’t trust the rural working class.
5. Madagascar (2005)
Zoos are typically places where we can pay to see bored unhappy animals pacing up and down in cages waiting for their next meal. Not so in Madagascar. No, the animals love their enclosures. Some of the benefits include heated beds, pampering by zoo staff, gourmet meals, parties with their friends, etc. Due to the actions of a band of subversive penguins, the animals find themselves in “the wild” of Madagascar. A horrible place with no humans to look after them. Rude lemurs don’t help matters much. Thank God they find a way to get back to the comfort and safety of their zoo.
Film Rating: **** Offensive Rating: *
Further Viewing: The tiger in Dr Dolittle loves being in the circus. Most offensive of all though, Eddie Murphy is in it.
4. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
Actual scenes of animals cruelty and simulated scenes of human cruelty, mostly to women, make this a thoroughly repulsive if fairly accomplished film. There is even some mondo chucked in for good measure during the famous Road To Hell sequence, briefly showing us some real life Third World atrocities. Despite its content, Cannibal Holocaust is pretty boldly moralistic, implicating the viewer as partly responsible for what they have seen. Also, unlike the racist tone taken by similar cannibal movies before it, Cannibal Holocaust portrays the white men as greater savages than the tribes people.
Film Rating: **** Offensive Rating: *****
Further Viewing: For light hearted entertainment when you’ve got your vegan or feminist friends over, you could also watch Eaten Alive, Cannibal Ferox or Mountain Of The Cannibal God (with Ursula Andress!).
3. The Birth Of A Nation (1915)
It was very tempting to not bother watching The Birth Of A Nation, and just point out that it is over three hours long, silent, not in colour and racist. Sounds pretty offensive to me. In an unusual moment of integrity, I decided to give it a go. The Birth Of A Nation is about the downfall of civilisation in South Carolina after the end of slavery. Life becomes mighty hard for decent white folk, who are disenfranchised and forced to wear rags and the like. Indeed, life had also been better for black folk under slavery too, they enjoyed two hour long lunch breaks and chuckles with their owners. "Crazed negroes" run amok, causing all sorts of trouble. Thankfully the Ku Klux Klan come to the rescue. They establish "fair trials". These consist of the KKK speculating how sad a girl’s family are, when she throws herself off a cliff to avoid local sex pest Gus (he’s black). They agree that they are very sad, so they hang him and dump him on the doorstep of the Lieutenant Governor. The blacks are disarmed and put back in their place. The KKK re-introduce "fair elections", which involve black people being forced back into their houses at gun point on polling day. Who would have guessed that the white slave owners were the real victims during this era of history?
Film Rating: *** Offensive Rating: ****
Further Viewing: For more dubious hate based propaganda, you may want to see Triumph Of The Will.
2. Guinea Pig 2: Flower Of Flesh & Blood (1985)
A creepy guy in a samurai suit (offensive to samurai?) kidnaps, ties to a bed, drugs and slowly dismembers a woman. That’s it, that’s the entire film. This is definitely one of the more unsettling entries in our list. Gratuitous and relentless, with exceptional special effects for the day, this is a tough film to watch. Charlie Sheen famously reported the film to the FBI, believing it to be a genuine snuff film. There was further controversy after Japanese serial killer, Tsutomu Miyazaki supposedly re-enacted aspects of the film as part of his crimes.
Film Rating: *** Offensive Rating: *****
Further Viewing: Once you’ve exhausted the other six Guinea Pig films, you may want to check out the August Underground series.
1. Ilsa She Wolf Of The SS (1974)
Ilsa She Wolf Of The SS, the most famous entry in the Nazisploitation genre, is an utterly irredeemable film on every level. A film that allocates much of it’s running time to salacious scenes of naked young women being tortured by SS officers in a prison camp setting, has to be cinema’s most shameful hour. Outrageously there is also a pseudo feminist storyline that Ilsa is trying to prove that women are just as tough as men. That the film is “dedicated with the hope that these heinous crimes will never occur again” makes the film even more crass and offensive. The film was a big hit on the grindhouse film circuit and spawned three milder sequels and many, mostly Italian, rip-offs (although 1968’s Love Camp 7 has the dubious honour of being the first sadistic Nazisploitation flick). Although an exploitation classic, Ilsa She Wolf Of The SS is in the worst possible taste and if you watch it you will feel dirty and squirm with your own self-loathing.
Film Rating: **** Offensive Rating: *****
Further Viewing: If you can’t help yourself, there are some twenty odd similar films, including SS Hell Camp, The Gestapo’s Last Orgy and SS Experiment Camp.